Politicalamity : Election 2007

I was hanging out with my brother one afternoon talking about how Pacquiao beat the shit out of what's his name. He kinda does a pretty good Manny Pacquiao impression, my brother. After the fight we just surfed for a movie to watch and we got to see all sorts of political ads from candidates. In fact Michael Buffer introduced the pacman with a "congressional candidate" intro. Many oppose Pacquiao's decision to run for office but, fuck 'em, the man is like, a guzzillionaire, he can do whatever he wants. At least we know that he really does not know anything about plotics and probably can't do much. Unlike other candidates who put on a mask. And if Pacquiao wins and does good with projects and helping his constituents, we will all be like, well what do you know..the kid's got skills, political skills.

My bro and I like keeping track of what is going on in the political scene. Especially nowadays, with the whole lamp-post scam involving our Mayor and other city officials. Followed by the  6-month suspension ordered by the Office of the Ombudsman-Visayas. Getting pretty heated down here. I mean the timing couldn't be more perfect. With Mayor Teddy Ouano's son vying for the Mayoralty position, looking to succeed his dad. Is this just a political ruse to over-throw a political dynasty or did the second-hand finally catch up with them? The answer? No one knows.

I've volunteered in the past elections and I have witnessed first hand how easy it is to scam these proceedings. Security is pretty casual. And the bribes? Never absent. And that's just at a local level. Bottom line is that, for me, I don't know who to vote for plainly because I don't know who to trust. And the politicians know it.

So our discussion went back to the Ads. Knowing that the people are confused and vulnerable, the best chance they have in swaying people are their ads. And being the idot-genius that he is, my brother concluded that these candidates need better jingles! Why couldn't these candidates tap in to the resources of the youth and pop-culture? If it's gonna be a battle of Ads, then they should make theirs as cool as possible. That's all there is to it. No one cares about the lyrics being how honest they are or how much they can improve our city, because frankly no one cares anymore. So, we came up with some cool tunes for these officials that we think could boost their campaign, even possibly win it for them. One cool theme is from the animated movie Madagascar (no pun intended on the political structure of the lemurs) where the lemurs danced and all.. goes something like "i like to move it move it". Chavit Singson could really use this.."i like to chavit, chavit". For Prospero Pichay.. "hawak pichay, di kita iiwan sa paglakbay.." Kinda has a nice message to it too right. Or for Tommy Osmeña, a dub from snoop dogg and pharrell.."drop it like tomas, drop it like tomas". And for our beloved governor Gwen Garcia.."don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like gwen.."